Things I've Learned

This section is for little bits of personal wisdom, and for things I find interesting at the moment. Here you’ll find things less thought out and comprehensive to be an infodump, but probably more personal to me too. Do you have to take my advice? Of course not. It’s up to you, everything is subjective of course.

You Have To Let Yourself Laugh At Your Embarassment To Survive You have to let yourself laugh to get by. There are exceptions to this rule of course, some things shouldn’t be laughed about because it disrespects the subject nature of the event. But while you’re here, let’s talk about those other embarrassing/painful moments. The kind of ones that would make you infuriated as a kid but are nothing when you look back years later. The “mild” ones.

-People respond to every signal they receive in the brain. That’s how we are wired to survive. If we feel pain, signals in our brain tell us to respond by reaction. However if we get caught in the habit of reacting to every emotionally painful moment: every spill of a drink, every time you blurted something out that you regret, then things won’t go well. From experience I know that the more you react to an embarrassing moment the more it hurts, and with that memory of hurt you go on, generally speaking, not doing as well mentally. The embarrassment and the re-embarrassment of remembering an old memory will only accumulate until you’re a much more insecure version of yourself. And that in fact, will make you act more awkward, only contributing to the cycle

-So what’s the remedy? I’ll explain. Let’s imagine that someone did something embarrassing: whether it be a drunk text, or anything else, the main point is that they don’t know/remember what it is. Initially the person is at peace, they don’t know that everyone is thinking of the embarrassing thing they did because they haven’t learned of what they did. If they never knew of the embarrassing thing, it essentially didn’t happen. But upon learning of the thing he regrets, the first thought on this persons mind will be: “what do others think?” That is the core of embarrassment. Not the knowledge that you did something, but the fear of what others would think. But I’m not advocating for denial to remedy your embarrassment. Instead I say take the power back to yourself. Laugh at your own mishaps. Every time you gain from your own pain you become a more confident version of yourself.

-The biggest thing here is that no one can use your mistake against you. No matter what others think of you after your mistake, it can not truly make you feel embarrassed as long as you laugh about the thing. This skill can be applied to many things in life: being bullied, workspace humiliation, socially awkward encounters. Because in the long run of life every person around you, the people who remember what you did and try to make you feel bad about it, they aren’t there. No matter how long people mock you for it, the only person you will spend 100% time with is yourself. So you must prioritize your own mind, your own perspective and let yourself own your shame. When you laugh at your embarrassment it will not longer hurt. Be empowered.